Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Dexter

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DEXTER.
Showtime

This show revolves around Miami Metro Police Department's Homicide Division. A couple of the folks that work there are the kid's of a late well respected veteran detective, Harry Morgan. Although in the beginning of the series, Deborah Morgan (Jennifer Carpenter) was working vice, she eventually gets into Homicide, and in fact, as the seasons go by, she makes Lieutenant. Her step-brother Dexter Morgan (Michael C. Hall), is on the forensics team. He is a "blood splatter analyst." And he's very good at his job.

Dexter has a secret though. When he was 3 years old, he witnessed his mother being murdered with a chainsaw. That left a profound affect on him and twisted him is such a way that he became a sociopath with a psychotic need to kill. His father Harry (the cop that rescued and later adopted him), sensed this early on, and decided to intervene as best he could. He knew there was going to be no stopping Dexter, but he (and as it turns out in the last season, a Dr.) came up with a "Code" for Dexter to live by. Harry (James Remar) started instilling it in Dexter from a very early age. Essentially the code, outlines how Dexter is to never get caught, and is to kill only those who absolutely deserve it, when the law lets them slip through the cracks. In other words, Dexter is a serial killer who only kills other serial killers.

Dexter is a guy who doesn't have feelings. He wishes he did. He carries with him what he calls his "Dark Passenger." It's that dark place inside of him that feels this overwhelming urge to kill. Along the way though he meets a woman that was severely abused and doesn't want any real male contact, and Dexter is thrilled to start dating her, because she isn't interested in any real human contact. Made to order for Dexter! Rita (Julie Benz), is standoffish at first but as time goes on she warms up to Dexter, and so much so that they eventually actually get married. In all the wedding pictures, Dexter is confused. He doesn't know what feelings he's supposed to be faking. Rita brings with her two kids, Astor (Christina Robinson), and Cody (Preston Bailey). So now Dexter is a father. And later on.....voila! Rita's pregnant and gives birth to Dexter's son Harrison! This makes it complicated for a serial killer who likes to spend a lot of evenings "out."

I cannot begin to describe all of the events and characters that come into Dexter and Deb's life. So many psychos. But there is a pivotable moment at the end of season 6 when Deb gets let in on who Dexter is, and everything changes.

Beyond that, one of the psychos Dexter encounters murders Rita, and Dexter is left alone with Harrison (the two step kids go to Grandparents).

I know this is old news because Dexter has been over for a couple years. But I watched the first season many years ago and never pursued it, but decided to go back and see it all. And man am I glad I did. Frankly, I don't know what I'm going to do without Dexter in my life.

Ironically, Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter were actually married for seasons 4, 5, and 6, and then divorced. In seasons 7 and 8 you'd never know it. They were committed professionals all the way. And there are two many great side-players here to mention them all, but they are all worthy and all deserve respect.

This is a show I loved and I am going to miss. I watched an episode every day at the gym on the treadmill as I did my 3 or 3.25 miles on the treadmill. It's over now. What am I going to do? What is there to watch?

DEXTER is a masterful work of writers coming together with directors and acting talent and the magic happened. This was an interesting idea explored to the Nth degree and I thank all the people involved in it for that. Although, I know it was set in Miami, many scenes looked amazing like Long Beach, California where I used to live........yuk-yuk

I cannot, and I mean cannot recommend this show enough. I loved every moment of this. Even when Dexter was killing. Because by killing the animals he was killing he was saving lives. And that is how weird this show is. Let's root for a serial killer!!

DEXTER explores a lot of human nuances that maybe we are uncomfortable with. And that's the beauty of this show.

Grade: A+



Friday, June 19, 2015

Jurassic World

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I put this review right after my review of "San Andreas," because they are so similar. Four separate writers had to be called in a various times to cobble together a script that was right in front of them had they watched the first "Jurassic Park." Kids, massive dinosaurs, tense situations....you get the idea.

One of the hardest things for me watching this movie was taking Chris Pitt seriously; he is such a supreme comic on "Parks and Recreation." But I guess he buffed up for "Guardians of the Galaxy" and for this movie and eventually sold me as an action hero. At one point I even thought "this guy could be an Indiana Jones type. Turns out, he will be in some up-coming Indiana Jones films.

It seems that Jurassic Park, after that terrible series of events that happened so long ago, has come back to life in the name of "Jurassic World." The management, always the bad guys in the movie world and the real world, push to get more creepy, crazy, dangerous Dinosaurs. So they finally come up the "Six Million Dollar Man" of Dinosaurs and the fun ensues.

Of course there are two kids in the mix. Did you not see the first movie? And of course they are stupid and make bad choices. That's the things movies are made of.

I have to say one thing. Even if all of these rides would have gone off flawlessly, to me, this is still the most boring park ever. Hey, please, can we go back to Knott's Berry Farm? This crap would not keep a kid entertained for more than 15 minutes. Reality check.

The park obviously creates a mega-dinosaur and then has to deal with the consequences when it gets out. Naturally. And this one doesn't kill for food, it kills for fun.

Of course it gets out, blah-blah-blah. Predictable and boring. I have to be honest. I thought 2 minutes into this film that the final scene would be the super-dino fighting the normal T-Rex. 2 minutes. I was not disappointed.

Jurassic World was a boring and predictable piece of mish-mash that will make millions and millions of dollars. But this is not good on any level.

Like my wife says, whose seen it twice says,  "It's not thought provoking. You won't have deep thoughts. It's not inspiring. But darn it, I like it." I guess I get that.  There is a definite market out there for the mindless. In fact, it's most of us.

I am ashamed of the fact that I have seen this and as of yet have not seen "The Theory of Everything." But I live in a small town and our theater only shows sure-fire hits.

Grade: C-


Wednesday, June 17, 2015

San Andreas

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San Andreas is not a film that will make you think deep thoughts. It does not have clever intellectual plot twists. In fact it's plot is tragically predictable. But the film does exactly what it's designed to do: Give you 114 minutes of simple escapism by way of some pretty impressive special effects.

Dwyane Johnson plays Ray, a guy who is a trained Rescue Firefighter, who was being sent to assist in a situation and then the big one hit. A giant earthquake the whole length of the San Andreas fault. From Los Angeles to San Francisco the earth has opened up. This in reality is not what would happen in this situation, but it's Hollywood. So just go with it. His estranged wife Emma (Carla Gugino) is now engaged to a wealthy building developer, but Ray is sort of ok with that. Their daughter Blake (Alexandria Daddario) is in San Francisco, and is working for mom's new finance. On this particular day, a young man Daniel (Ioan Gruffudd) is interviewing for a job at the mom's boyfriend's company and he has been forced to bring along his younger brother Ollie (Art Parkinson). This happens about the time the big one makes it's way up to San Francisco.

Meanwhile, somewhere else a top meteorologist, Prof. Lawrence (Paul Giamatti) has just discovered, along with a colleague, a way to accurately predict earthquakes before they happen. Unfortunately the colleague is inside the Hoover Dam when the biggie hit, and it was strong enough to take the Dam down.

Later, after Ray and his ex have teamed up to go find their daughter (we know about 5 minutes into the movie that they are going to end up reuniting, like I say predictable), Prof. Lawrence is being interviewed by a newswoman Serena (played by the incredibly hot Archie Punjab) and later they team up to save not only themselves but potentially many other lives.

Of course, Ray and Emma get back together. Of course Blake drowns, but a couple of chest pumps brings her back to life. Of course Daniel saves Blake at one point so they'll fall in love. Of course the cowardly fiance gets his. Of course the little brother Ollie is the comic relief. So predictable. But exactly what you signed up for when you bought a ticket.

So, can I fault this movie? Not really.

It didn't promise something it didn't deliver. It was a disaster movie, and it showed us disaster. So I cannot fault that.

Perhaps the ones that are at fault for low-level cinema are us. We that buy so many tickets that these things and they make a lot of money and foster more. Perhaps it started with "A Night To Remember", and then there was "The Poseidon Adventure" and "The Towering Inferno", and "Airport!" and the biggie "Titanic". So, we have no one to blame but ourselves. But, who's the victim? We paid for escapism, and we got it. So I guess it's all good.

I was given 114 minutes of what I paid to get. But the fact we didn't get a better movie with better actors than WWE cast outs, is our fault. But having said that, the special effects were phenomenal.

Grade: C


Sunday, April 26, 2015

Paul Blart, Mall Cop 2

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Kevin James is at it again as Paul Blart, the Mall Cop that somehow in a bumbling way seems to save the day. His inflated sense of importance is part of his charm. I liked the first movie, and when the wife suggested we go see this, I didn't flinch. Kevin James has a way of entertaining one for and hour and a half no matter how mundane the storyline is.

But this is not a mundane storyline. In fact there is a lot to like about it. In the first film Paul saves the day on a Black Friday and gets the girl and apparently they were married. What we didn't get to see is that the marriage lasted nine days, and then she was out of the picture. However that is old history. In this story Paul receives a letter that he has been invited to come to a Mall Security Conference being held in Las Vegas, and since all expenses are paid, he assumes he is the keynote speaker for his heroics five years earlier in his Black Friday heroism.

As part of the convention they arrive and visit the expo where vendors are demonstrating the latest in non-lethal weaponry. There is the gun that sprays marbles all over the floor, or the gun that is an automatic rifle for bean bag ammo. Through the course of trying to check in, Paul has a lot of trouble, so he ends up talking to the hotel manager Davina (Daniella Alonso), and Paul mistakenly believes she is hitting on him and resents it. He then meets the head of hotel security Edwardo Furtillo (Edwardo Verastegis) who puts Paul down for being only a Mall cop.

Meanwhile, while all this is happening to Paul, a very wealthy patron has arrived with his entourage. Vincent (Neal McDonugh) is a high roller who lost a bundle here on his last visit, and secretly is plotting revenge. He and his crew headed by Robinson (DB Woodside) are involved in a intricate plot to swap out all the art in the hotel for duplicates, as they have a wealthy buyer waiting.

I must also mention that while Paul is in attendance he meets up with a crew of other Mall Cops that come from Malls all over America. One even comes from Mall of America. Most notably is Saul Gundermutt, who works at a Mall in Orange, New Jersey. He and his haircut are a stitch. Saul is played by Gary Valentine (who happens to be Kevin James' real life brother.)

Kevin James is once again joined by Ramis Rodriguez who plays his lovely daughter Maya like she did in the first movie. Maya has received news that she's been accepted at UCLA, but Paul has made a big deal out of the fact that without her he'd be all alone. So she is conflicted about telling him about it.

There are many more side stories going on here, and they somehow all seem to intertwine nicely. I love the corniness of Paul eventually by accident actually being the keynote speaker, and his speech says it all about his inflated sense of service to mankind. But it makes Davina fall in love with him.

And when Maya accidentally stumbles into the hands of the bad guys, Paul has to go to work. And this turns into nothing but zany fun.

Is this great cinema? No. Is this great fun? Yes.  So if you feel like letting your hair down and just being entertained and laughing a lot for an hour and a half, this is the movie for you. Kevin James is a big man, but he uses his size to his advantage, doing lots of physical sight gags that always make me laugh.

Go escape from it all for 90 minutes. It's fun.

GRADE: B+


Thursday, April 23, 2015

The Last Man On Earth

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FOX

Will Forte stars as Phil Miller, the last man on Earth. He spends his days roaming from town to town but finally decides to stay awhile in Tucson, Arizona. On the off chance there is anyone left on Earth, he paints on a few billboards along the way "Alive in Tucson."

When Phil arrives in Tucson he finds a very nice home on a very wealthy cul-de-sac, and sets up residence filling it with items he as collected around the country. The carpet from the Oval Office bearing the Seal of The President of the United States, several Monets and Picassos, the Ruby Slippers, and on and on. He then goes about his daily life of being totally bored. He has a child-like mind to begin with, so he spends days building the worlds tallest Jenga tower, or donning a suit of armor and letting a tennis ball serving machine pelt him with tennis balls. He gives up on continually filling the toilet tank with water, so he cuts a round hole on the end of the swimming pools diving board and voila! A large toilet.

He creates electricity with generators and is able to watch the Tom Hanks movie "Cast Away" and during it he scoffs at Hanks talking to the volley ball Wilson. Not long afterward he's seen playing pool while all around there are balls of every ilk: volleyball, a basketball, a baseball, a ping-pong ball, and even a badminton birdie, all with faces drawn on, and all with names. He not only talks to them but they in turn somehow give him advice. Oh, and by the way Phil, they make generators that power your house, so you could have running water and the toilet would have worked....just a reminder writers....

Finally after two years of being totally lonely and bored, Phil comes to the conclusion that he can't take it anymore and decides to kill himself. He paints a big target on a boulder and while drinking a lot (which he did a lot of anyway), he puts the pedal to the metal and is speeding towards the boulder. I'm okay with that because these couple episodes were getting tedious and I was about to check out anyway. But while speeding toward his death, Phil glances to his left and hits the brakes, barely stopping before hitting the rock. Off in the distance he sees the smoke from a campfire!

After checking out the fire, Phil discovers a woman! Her name is Carol and she somehow, too, has survived. (There are vague references to "the virus"). So naturally they decide to hang together. Now, Carol is not the least bit attractive, even leaning to the homely side, and she has a nasally squeaky voice. But that's not the worst of it. She's the anal retentive annoying type that still thinks they should stop at stop signs and not park in the handicapped parking spots. All while there is no one else on Earth.

One day she comes to the conclusion that it is their responsibility to re-populate the Earth. Phil is appalled at the notion of sleeping with this woman, and even says "I wouldn't sleep with you if you were, and we know you are, the last woman on Earth" but eventually, finally, reluctantly agrees. But then of course in Carol's world this means they have to get married first. Phil is flabbergasted because really, what's the point? But finally, what the hey, what real difference does it make? They are the last two people on Earth after all. So they get married in their own little ceremony in a Church, her in full Wedding gown, he in a tee shirt and shorts. She then used crayons to draw their wedding pictures because apparently we don't know how to fire up a generator and use a computer to download pictures. Any now they are "married" and Carol loves the sex but Phil is appalled. It ain't good.

One day they are driving along and out of nowhere BAM!! They get hit by another car!! And when the dust clears, out of this car steps an exquisitely beautiful blonde bombshell. Her name is Melissa (played by January Jones, Mrs. Draper to "Mad Men" fans), and this is where it got interesting. I decided to hang with this show.

Phil is so in love with Melissa it hurts, but now he's married and this provides lots of comic opportunities. And Phil is truly a bumbling idiot, not even worthy of Carol, but he tries to woo Melissa, who is put off because he's married to Carol after all. And she would have been put off anyway, because he's a jerk. (This is a guy that likes to paint the walls in his house by feeding full paint cans into a wood chipper). And the plot thickens and thickens and thickens. In very, very funny ways.

I have seen all the episodes available, and encouraged my bride to take a look too. She liked it and binged watched them all. I don't know if this was just a one-season wonder, but it is definitely worth a look. Phil Miller is a one of a kind. Will Forte is an old alum of Saturday Night Live, and has written for lots of shows, and he is very good here. I don't want to say much more about the show, because I don't want to give too much away, but there are lots of funny things going on here.

If you get a chance, check this out. I think you'll enjoy it.


Grade: B

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Warehouse 13

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Warehouse 13 is a Syfy channel original series.


After saving the life of the President in Washington D.C., a pair of Secret Service agents are whisked away against their will to a remote location in South Dakota to a warehouse that houses supernatural objects that the Regents, an authority above an outside any government, have collected over the centuries. Their assignment: To retrieve and secure any lost objects and investigate reports of new ones.

The agents, the male played by Eddie McClintock, and the female played by Joanne Kelly are fun, but still, demonstrate the limited budget of this show. Saul Rubinek as their boss and curator of the warehouse museum, is a veteran, but really, this is not his best work.....

The stories every episode revolve around the agents seeking out and securing for the Warehouse an artifact that is causing mystical mayhem. The US government's philosophy is, that if we can't explain it, let us warehouse it until we can.

This show has a very "X-Files" feel to it, and honestly I only saw one episode of the X-Files, but worms coming out of a guy's mouth left me cold. Still, I am betting my wife will really love this show. It's mystical, and just creepy enough to hold the interest of folks who like this kind of stuff.

So for me, I feel I cannot judge. My wife I truly believe is going to love this. But this just isn't my genre. Does that make it bad? Not necessarily. I wish the budget allowed for more dynamic actors, sure, okay. But these folks are doing the best they can.

So if you liked "The X-Files",  give this a try.  But based on the limited abilities of the actors and the sometimes convoluted scripts, I cannot give this a good grade.

Grade: B-
and I think that's generous. But that's just me.

My wife might give it an A.

Side Note: My wife didn't like it. She watched a couple episodes and went to other things. So, I think I was being waaaaayyyy generous.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Bosch

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 amazon.com studios
stream available on amazon plus.

I love the way everybody is jumping into the foray and helping re-invent television. Netflix is creating brilliant TV, not to mention AMC, or FX, only to name a few. Televison has finally become where the real art is happening. It is no longer movies. I think the day when the up-and-comers have to pay their dues by doing features before they can get into TV is on the horizon.

So amazon.com decides to roll the dice. They steal a guy from the cast of CBS's "The Good Wife" and turn him into Harry Bosch, a police detective in Hollywood, CA, who has just been burdened with the skeletal remains of a 12 year old kid in a 20 year old murder, and an active serial killer, all the while standing trial for a good shoot of a serial killer, and getting intimate with a below pay grade underling, and trying to re-establish an estranged relationship with his 15 year old daughter.

Titus Welliver stars as Harry Bosch, the troubled Hollywood Detective who has always been a rouge because he refuses to kiss any ass in the department. He gets saddled with two horrible cases and gets caught up in the intrigue that involves city politics, and department protocol. Thankfully he has a great partner played by "The Wire" alumni Jamie Hector as Detective Jerry Edgar.

There are too many great supporting cast members to mention, but this cast is first class all the way. A stand-out is Jason Gedrick as a villain Raynard Waits. And it was nice to see Veronica Cartwright in a very brave and outstanding performance.

This is a show that Elmore Leonard and maybe even my hero Raymond Chandler would have loved. It was filled with all the right elements. Ten episodes and out. But I really hope we have more coming. I sincerely wish for that.

I loved this show and would recommend this experience highly. It was ten episodes from amazon. Watch it, and encourage others to do that too. Maybe they'll give us more.....

Grade: A-